September 2010
27 posts
Why Am I Up This Early?
Stupid mother. I wasn’t ready to wake up. :l.
There's no way out.
Looks like I’ll be stuck in this reject town forever. Hooray for slowly wasting days in a place where your not even happy.
I'm still wearing your ring.
I’m wearing the bracelets and necklace you gave me too, but the ring is my favorite. You say it was your Grandmothers, and that you wanted me to have it. When you said that, my mouth just dropped open. I was having a crappy day already, because of boyfriend troubles, when you turned it all around. I feel special. Thank you for that. I really needed a little bit of happiness in my day. <3.
I hate the fact that I don't think like anyone...
He would say one thing to me, and I would take it wrong and cry. He would say he meant this, and that, but I read into things too much, and think about it constatnly until I flip out. How lovely.
13 Reasons Why.
I think if I made a list, it’d go something like this;
1. Cameron.
2. Cameron.
3. Cameron.
4. Cameron.
5. Cameron.
6. My mom.
7. Cameron.
8. Cameron.
9. Cameron.
10. Cameron.
11. Cameron.
12. Cameron.
13. Cameron.
F.R.O.A.
Future.Rapists.Of.America. I remember this. I believe Megan made it up, freshman year. She was mad at David, for some reason, and she accused him of being in the FROA, (Prononuced “Fro-ah”). Then, me and Ayriel just started saying it, and people wanted to join the FROA. We even came up with a motto. “It’s not rape if you yell ‘Suprise’”. Good times.
I can't help,
But read through all of our old conversations that I still have. How much of it was lies? Secrets you kept from me? How many times was it with her, really? How many girls? These are the questions I can’t help but ask myself as I lay in bed. Did you ever even really love me? You say you did. You said this was “Foreve_”. I don’ think foreve_ exists for me after what you did....
Your changing.
Already. It hasn’t even been one month, yet your acting diffrent towards me. Are you bored of me that easily? Because you’ve been treating me like compleate SHIT lately. I won’t put up with it for much longer. I put up with C——-n’s shit for over a year. I won’t deal with any more than nessesery.
I wonder what ever happend to that love letter?
Did you really burn it, like you said? Or do you, like me, still have almost everything of ours?
I hate going to school.
No, it’s not for the reason you think. I hate doing work and all that, but that’s not the reason I don’t like school. I don’t like school because I have to act so-fucking-fake there all the time that I want to puke at the sound of my own voice. But, oh, no, I’m not the only one. Everyone does it there. Girls. Boys. Teachers. It’s all an act. They all want to fit...
It's still there.
happyfoutmonthanaverserybaby.weebly.com
I finally realised why I sing so loud when I'm...
It’s so I don’t have to fucking hear myself think.
I can't wait;
Just can’t wait, for the day when you fall in love again. You think she’s everything you ever wanted. You never want anyone else, she is not just a part of your world, she IS your world. You do everything right, only to be treated like crap. But, you think, things will be okay, right? Just little fights. So you stay. And stay. And stay. Until the day she moves away. But still, you wait...
I'm better off when I hit the bottom.
When your at the bottom, there’s no hope, no thinking for the future. You feel like your drowing, and the little things, like waking up in the morning, feels like it’s just too much of a hassle to deal with. I guess it’s true when people say, you never know how strong you really are until you hit the bottom. Well, folks, I’ve hit that so called bottom a few months ago. But...
I would follow you to the beginning, just to...
I wish I could go back. Back to when we were still “Cammie && Samiy”. Back to when you only wanted to talk to me. Back to when we stayed up all night in my room talking, about our lives. The future && how you wanted to be with me foreve_. What happend to that “foreve_”? I wish we could go back, back to when we were happy. Just two kids in love, and nothing...
Angry fact;
I’m not allowed to eat the chocolate poptarts at your house. I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it’s only a big deal to me because I give you whatever you want to eat at my house. Maybe I shouldn’t give you food, then you’d know how it feels.
One thing I never told you today;
You know that bracelet that “Some girl at school” gave you? Yeah. It botherd me. It also botherd me that your phone kept rining, and you would wait until I looked away to text back. Was it a girl? I guess I’ll never know. But, being the nice girlfriend that I am, I didn’t say anything. After all, that same day, some boy had given me an expensive necklace and his...
Hrrmph.
Who the fuck is “Kristian”? I know, I have someone else, and he has every right to find someone else too, but still. KRISTIAN?! C’mon C———, she sounds like a freak. Who the fuck spells their name with a “K”? You used to hate that, when people used ‘K’s instead of ‘C’s, and ’Z’s instead of ’S’s. Or, have you forgotton everything about “us” and all the things we used to hate together? Ha. Honestly,...
Leave the past; in the past.
It bothers me that you still talk about her. It bothers me that she still loves you and tries to talk to you. But, at the same time. You aren’t mine. I know you say you are, but, you guys had been together for two years. Most likely, you’ll end up leaving me for her. But that’s okay. At this point in my life; I’d be perfectly fine without you.
Too late, too much to say.
I seen him today. Brown shirt. Beanie. Just as cute as ever. Still wears my bracelet, too. Why does it feel like I still liked you? This is just wrong. I still can’t get that day out of my head. You playing guitar and singing to me, walking in the rain, and that one, perfect kiss. You looking me right in the eyes and telling me you loved me. Fuck. Why couldn’t you have just stayed a little longer...